Unrealistic Goals

This week started really well, so well in fact that I started dreaming up mad goals to set myself because I am SO PRODUCTIVE and ON IT right now, I can do anything. I’m going to take up boxing and finish my thesis in a year! I’m unstoppable!

Heres’s the thing. Yeah, I’m feeling pretty on it at the moment, I’ve caught up with the work that I messed up and got some positive feedback; I discovered a nook in the literature that I’m reading that no one’s really explored in the context of what I’m doing; I’m feeling calmer and more on top of things generally. Goals are good. Excellent, in fact. They keep you focused and on track. But if you start setting ridiculous ones, like, oh, for example, I’m just pulling this out of the air, ‘I could totally finish my first chapter by this time next week imagine how impressed my supervisors will be it’ll totally make up for the terrible paperwork asshattery from last week‘, all you’ll really achieve is 1) stressing yourself out, and 2) feeling like a let-down when you don’t reach your ridiculous target.

So yeah, by Thursday I was feeling a little less ON IT and I was a tad disappointed, but yesterday I pulled my socks up and decided that I don’t have to come up with stupendous ideas every day, they don’t spring from nothing, do some bloody reading, write some more notes, and something will come to you. And it did. Only 450 words at the last possible minute, but that’s something, and I’ll keep working on them until they’re a chapter.

I would have written about this yesterday, but I was really busy filling myself with a truly disgusting amount of Chinese food with some people from my department. My supervisor kindly invited me along and I dragged one of my PhD buddies with me. I a little bit failed to talk to anyone that I didn’t know, but I’ll do better next time. Slowly but surely becoming a functioning human again.

Word count: 1,500 ish, including the resubmitted paperwork.

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